Real Life MMO Characters

Disclaimer: All names are pure concoctions, its their personalities that are real: believe it or not.

Josh, Fizzlegiggle Tizzletops, the emoter, thirty-something guy who plays the off-the-wall classes, that no one else wants to play, but often critical to group mechanics. Josh is the player who just loves using his emotes at the end of every battle and chest drop. He plays the dancers, the cook, cabin boy, the grease fitter, or seamstress. Josh spends more time researching and implementing the craziest emotes one could imagine – his gear and skills are all underpowered but man he can shake his ass and do head stands until the dragons come home.

Greg, the Griefer, Henderson — a guy who has been stepped on all his life and finds nothing more pleasurable than to grief all groups of players. This sadistic fiend will sneak his 100th level assassin into a newbie zone and constantly challenge new players to duels – often under the cloak of some role-playing flag. He finds great pleasure in training hordes of mobs onto unsuspecting groups; and his favorite tactic is finding items with nearly identical names of rare finds, then rob unsuspecting shoppers with such audacious gimmicks. He has the best the world can offer, but all gained through nefarious exploits. He lives in a shadowed world awry with his own logic and twisted view of reality – never understanding why he can’t find acceptance among his fellow gamers.

Gary, the Righteous-Ninja-Looting-Paladin. He is the guy, who if you are unlucky enough to group with, will ninja loot every single drop in the game and explain that he as use for the item on one of his many alternate characters. Gary invariably plays righteous, noble, and moralistic classes like paladins, clerics, jedi, or knights – yet will rob you blind and screw you out of every single copper coin he can get his mealy hands on. Gary will whine and waffle on about how he never gets anything good, yet when you examine him he has legendary and epic gear that you only dream off – his response is that is that he has friends that have gear that makes his look like newbie crap.

Mitch the Malcontent, a forty-five year old family man with wife and kids, a great job, and rosy income yet everything sucks: the game sucks, the company sucks, the world sucks, just everything sucks. No matter how good the experience is, it sucks….no matter what kind of loot is found, that sucks too. Talk of where the game is heading and how the development of new expansions ends with Mitch forcasting its demise, and that sucks as well. Mitch just brings everyone down with his low balling stories of getting screwed, and how in the end, the Man is just grubbin’ you into the ground.


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