Holiday Blues

Yup, it’s already started — the holiday blues.  But it is not what you think.  Oh, I am sure I will be feeling my lathergic self after Thanksgiving and completely depressed around Christmas — don’t we all?  I am talking about my roller coaster ride of emotions that takes me to my heights, when I am pumping out three podcasts a week or writing a full length novel in a couple of months, to the draining pits of desperation and complete boredom in the deep valleys.

You see, I have an acute case of Bipolar Disorder. No, I am not going to blame my mother or the school system or the government. It’s just the way God put me together.  My wife has told me several times that I could take medicine for my condition and even out the emotional swings. But you know what, I love the heights.  I am not too particular about the slumps in the valleys, but god I love it when I am running high. The days are not long enough and the nights are too short.  I love racing home from work, or getting up so early in the morning, to bang out another  6 pages of the story, or record another three hours of podcasts.  Hell, in the good ol’ days I used to write whole role-playing games in a weekend.

So, the holiday is coinciding with my ride down the long stretch into the bowels of my negative Bipolar.  So, right now I am a old curmudgeon, whining about getting screwed in Everquest II and hating the long days at work.

You know, soon though, I will be riding the cart up the exciting hill where from the top, everything is possible. Where I am only a phone call away from success, glory, and adulation of every kind.  Oh I look forward to coming up on that peak, seeing the world from a new perspective and looking around at all the possibilities.

As I look outside its snowing — gah! That means shoveling the driveway and slipping on the ice, but soon it will mean snow angels and the thought of Spring!!